Almost validated

We are very close to being "validated" and ready to deploy. The amazing thing is that this entire mind-numbing process is actually a "cover your butt" program. Nobody wants to allow someone into theater that is not completely validated and signed off on. If something were to happen (unfortunate turn of events) while in theater, to a soldier who did not complete the validation process, then someone will get in trouble. However, I see no correlation to knowing how to pat down a prisoner to being blown up by IED. IED's (Improved explosive devices) now account for over 80% of the casualties, but there is no training to avoid that type of happening.
This last week of my life has been a waster....not sure who I will complain to when I get in theater, but the Colonel at the General's office who refused to send an email to get me out of this will hear from me, as well as the Chaplain side who even consider that this is appropriate or effective use of a Chaplain's time.

The air flow folks still do not have a handle on the plane ride over there. They have known for a couple of weeks about our needing a ride, but contracting cannot seem to get anyone to sign on the dotted line.....another dumb part of being in a beaurocracy.

Within a couple of hours, I should be a "valid soldier"...I can harldy wait.....

Hurry and Wait

That is the Army standard, but we have pushed it to the limit here in El Paso. We are being herded around by the most inept NCO's I have ever worked with. We had a formation this morning at 0715 only to be told to report at 0930. The formation lasted 15 minutes while the NCO explained how the schedule two days from now has been changed. There are 6 groups of us who are going through the training and he explained each group's changes for today, tomorrow and the next day....then went back and handed out the schedule. The frustration level has reached the point where some of the class will pull that NCO aside and explain the facts of life.
Today we will operate the Army's newest driving simulator that will connect four simulated vehicles into a convoy with graphics and virtual reality scenarios. It is a nice to have thing, but I wonder how much new information we are assmilating. For the millions of dollars spent, why not put us in Humvees with rifles and drive through a mock village?

Death by PowerPoint

The 104th Training Brigade is in charge of this portion of our "get ready for war" training. We are all experiencing death by PowerPoint. The classes seem interminable when sitting in a warm classroom for 3 hours at a time.
So far, I have not learned anything new. The consensus is that if the presenter would talk faster, we could be done sooner and all would be happy.
The presentations are interspersed with video clips sent back from the war zone. Some are courtesy of the Al Jezera news company broadcasts. We have been warned to look for news crews. If they are filming, then there is a chance they are there to film an ambush....Sometimes it backfires. We watched an insurgent run into the street, crouch down with an RPG, aim and then he was shot by automatic rifle fire before he could launch his rocket. Watching a man be killed is dramatic and unnerving.
The training is being conducted by folks who are well intended and doing the best they can, but none have been to combat, few have been on active duty (other than now) and they are trying to be relevant. However, we have a class of senior ranking officers who have been privy to high level decision-making conferences and others who have been to the zone.

"A man with an argument is never at the mercy of a man with an experience."

More to go. This afternoon we have practical exercises in how to dismount vehicles and provide cover fire during ambushes. Not sure where the Chaplain will find himself on the battlefield during this time......

Land NAV

Land Navigation is one of the banes of Military Life. If you know how to get around in the desert with a compass and map, you are golden. If not, you are lost--literally. I have been to the National Training Center in California and navigated the largest training area in the U.S. with hardly any problem. Yet last night, I could not find a single point that was 300 yards away!
I hate land nav, not because it is challenging and fun to stumble around the dark trying not to get intimately involved with cactus needles, but because there is absolutely no situation where I would need to use it.
If a Chaplain finds himself alone, in the dark with a map and a compass, then he is already in deep trouble. In the War Zone, no convoy leaves with fewer than three vehicles, radios, weapons, a clearly determined route and checkpoints, along with radio checks. If the convoy gets in trouble, helicopters, armored vehicles, patrols, soldiers, everyone comes to support. Why, pray tell, must I have to go through the land nav course? Because some Colonel and General decided that ALL Soldiers need these basic skills. They don't have my support and I would be glad to push them off the berm I fell down last night.
One of the 2LT's brought his laptop in a field case so that he could watch DVD's while we waited for the sun to go down.....only a new lieutenant.

Equipment Issue

Going through the Central Issue Facility (CIF) is universally accepted to be a painful, never ending, endurance test of patience and quiet. At Fort Bragg, there are signs prominently displayed saying something along the lines of "profanity is not allowed at any time..." Evidently, there is a preponderance of loud cursing that is associated with trying to get our equipment issued.

We went through CIF yesterday. We were admonished to be patient, to not argue, to accept everything that is issued and keep talking to a minimum. "The people working here are civilians. They are going to issue you everything that is on your list. Do not argue with them or refuse anything they give you. They do not work for us and we have no control over them." They may have well said, "Welcome, lemmings. Follow the one in front until you plunge off the ledge."

This was actually one of the more painless three hours in CIF that I have had. I was issued worthless equipment (new, but worthless). I was issued the Kevlar helmet with woodland green cover, even though I am going to wear the desert uniform. Reason? I was wearing woodland BDU's at the time, so I was issued the woodland cover. Had I been wearing desert uniform, they would not have issued the woodland. Further down the line, I was issued the desert cover. (Note to self: Store the woodland and turn it in upon return.)
I was issued mosquito netting and six wooden poles to hold it up from my cot. I will sleep in a bed in a trailer with heat and air conditioning. I will not need mosquito nets. (Note to self: see earlier note).
The Kevlar was issued because we have to wear it to move into the theater. However, once there, we will be issued a new style helmet, with desert cover and band. Store the Kevlar until you go home and turn it back in. We have a lot of people storing Kevlar until they return.....

We had an equipment shakedown by our NCO before we left CIF. Dump everything out on the driveway, he calls out the name of an item, we hold it up and set it aside or in a duffle bag. Some laid everything out in order, others stacked by general category (clothes in one pile, equipment in another, NBC gear in another, etc.) I piled and kicked into general piles so that I could see (mostly) what I had. I knew what I had been issued because I knew the terminology and read the printout fast enough as the issuers signed off on the items.

Our cycle of CRC soldiers (about 100) has an interesting mix of lawyers, investigators, finance personnel and a chaplain along with Navy, some enlisted replacements and a mixing of others.

I stood next to a lawyer during the shakedown. Obsessive Compulsive, anal retentive would be a good overall description of JAG in general. They are very picky and a place for everything and everything in its place. This lawyer had all of his equipment laid out over a couple of hundred square feet all dress-right-dress in lines facing one way. Then as each item was called off, he would scurry and find it, turn it around so it faced the opposite way, then found the item on the checksheet and marked it off. We had been issued 93 separate pieces of equipment of 40 different items. There was no way that he could keep up. I would see the item being called off, give a thumbs up and nudge it with my foot to confirm what I had. Some went into the bag to store. The rest stayed put until we were done, then all got stuffed into the three duffel bags. The lawyer, in an attmpt to be organized, just went crazy. By the time he found the item and turned it around, we were at the next item. He was still looking it up on his sheet. Then we were at the next item. He ended up jotting notes on the bottom of his sheet of items to look for later. Needless to say, we were still waiting on him when we were all packed up...such is the Army.

Non-firing range day

This morning is firing range time. Unfortunately, as a Chaplain, I do not go. There are specific guidelines about Chaplains being non-combatatants and handling firearms is definitely a no-no. Last night I helped my roommate get ready to go to the range. We have all gone through the CIF (Central Issue Facility) and were issued our equipment--some of which is our ballistic vest with inserts. There are plenty of Army acronyms, but this vest can be described as bulky, heavy and safe. Not sure how heavy, but there are two large, thick ceramic plates, one in front and one in back that will stop a rifle round. The rest is composed of layered Kevlar fabric that will defend against schrapnel and flying debris from explosions. The vest velcros and snaps up to choke your chin and down past your groin. Put the load bearing vest, with canteens, ammo clips, etc and then you find that running is next to impossible and walking is exhausting. Since many in my group are over the 50 year mark, we all concede that war is for young people. We know that survival of the fittest goes to the younger generation. The officers anticipate being back about 1400. They will qualify with the 9mm pistol. Those with the M-16 rifle will have to stay through the day and fire after dusk to qualify for night firing as well as the day time firing. Going to the range is always fun...doing the shooting, but my guess is that by tonight, the exhaustion level will be high.

Starting training

Got safely to El Paso....got up at 4:00 to catch my flight. The day consisted of waiting for everything to happen. When I got to El Paso, I discovered that the "D-ring" (detachment ring) that I had put on my flight bag had been stolen by someone in the airline baggage handling detail. I put the ring on the bag so that the handles would be clipped together for easier handling. Bummed. Maybe I should not be so trusting.

Was on time for the 3p.m. sign in. Then had to wait for three hours for our first briefing --- and to see if I was allowed in the class. My name was not on any roster nor had they been expecting me!

Finally got into the class. Amazing collection of people in the group. About 150 folks mixed in--civilians, Navy, Air Force and the majority are Army. The largest group I have seen is 6 people together. All the rest are like I am, a true "Army of One."

During the first briefing there was a particular Captain who kept asking questions about how to fill out the form. After about a half dozen not-too-bright questions, I told him to come and sit next to me. He moved to the empty chair and I told him to ask me any questions he might have. We were all in civilian clothes, so he did not immediately know that I outranked him by two pay grades, but he was obedient anyway. I think he was more nervous than anything, but he needed to shut up.

I finally got my room assignment and share a room with another LTC who is a lawyer. Slept very soundly and my snoring did not bother him at all. We will get along fine that way.

Up the next morning at 3:30. My roommate wanted to shower early, get dressed and then lie back down for 45 minutes before we have to leave. Maybe we won't get along as well as I thought!

Leaving town --

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I leave tomorrow for my two week training to become validated as a soldier. For me, with 18 years of Active Duty, I think that I am wasting my time....we will see.